Monday February 27th, 2012 - This was the day that we were to pull everything together at home. I didn't yet know exactly what was to happen, as we were hoping that maybe my body would just go into labor on its own. But since Solveig had passed already a few days prior, it wouldn't be healthy to let her lie inside of me too much longer. My sweet Dr. L called me around lunchtime to discuss a plan. She recommended that we come in the next day to try for a version, the procedure to turn the baby since she was lying transverse, and then induce labor after that. She said it could take a couple of days for the delivery to be complete after the induction began.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
That afternoon I spoke with an AMAZING woman from the hospital who works with families like ours as an advocate and grief counselor. She's incredible. I knew immediately over the phone that we were going to get along well and that she was going to be a wonderful resource and encouragement to me for time to come. "A" encouraged me to go out and find a special outfit for our baby girl, and to make sure to get a duplicate. I wrote about that in an earlier post and if I knew how to link to it I'd do that, but you see I'm not too fancy yet in that regard. Anyhow, that night we went out and got a special outfit and blanket and made sure to have our own clothes pulled together for what would be a photo session two days later when Solveig was born.
After shopping for several hours and being together, we came home and crashed and got our luggage ready for the next day...
Tuesday, February 28th - We had been told to call the hospital early in the morning to schedule an appointment. We arrived there around 8:30am after Grammie (my mom) came over to be with the kids. It was so odd to walk into the hospital for this delivery. I was a bit apprehensive yet anxious to see our daughter. The nurses in labor and delivery knew we were coming and escorted us to the end of the hallway so that we'd be in a bit more of a separate area from some of the other delivering moms. We were shown a pretty teal box sitting on a table which had been prepared for us by another family who had gone through a similar loss years before. Inside there was a letter from that family as well as some things to help us remember Solveig and work through our grief. There was a special plaster mold to capture hand and footprints, a "tress press" for holding clippings of hair, a book for our kids about how there was supposed to be a baby and there was instead an angel, and some other grief pamphlets and things that I'm forgetting. We read that book about the angel baby and wept.
It took awhile that morning to get things started medically. Around noon, the anesthesiologist came to give me an epidural prior to my version procedure. After my body was numb, then Dr. F came to perform the version. She first did an ultrasound only to find that little Solveig was somehow head down now and therefore I wouldn't need the ultrasound. Sometime that afternoon, Dr. F used a fol_ey cath_eter to help things to dilate more "naturally." I was glad for this as I was hoping to avoid any further medicine. The nurses and dr.'s kept monitoring me closely to see if things were progressing and they really weren't going that far. They kept asking if I wanted to take Pit_ocin to induce labor more quickly but I said I'd like to see how far things could go naturally.
February 29th - We slept some during those wee morning hours. Erik caught more winks than me, as I was enjoying talking with some of the lovely nurses who were caring for me. In fact, there was one named "C" who happened to take care of me and helped to deliver Bug almost six years ago. It was so great to talk with her - such an incredible, caring woman who encouraged me so much. ALL the nurses did a great job - they were so wonderful and helpful. I really respect nurses. Thank you sweet nurses.
SO, after sleeping for awhile Dr. L came in towards then end of her shift to check me and determined it was a good time to break my water. I was okay with that as I knew it would most likely help labor move along. An hour later my sweet friend "M" who is also a dr. came in to visit us and to bring chocolate cookies and oranges for me and Erik. I started having very intense contractions while she was there with us.
Right after M left, Dr. M who had been with us on Sunday to give us the news was on call and she came in for delivery. Little Solveig had somehow moved back to transverse position so she would be delivered breech, which for her was not a problem. In any other circumstance, being delivered breech could be an extremely dangerous situation...but because she wasn't alive and she was so tiny, it was okay. Her little arm came out, then her end, and then her head last.
8:03 AM - our little Solveig was out and in my arms. She came out and right away they were talking about the cord. Her cord was wrapped around her neck three times, around her mid section and around her arm...and there was a true knot in it. There was no need for an au_topsy at this point as it was clear to see the cause of death was all about the cord getting in the way. As dr. friend M said to me, "that blasted cord." I couldn't agree more. Blasted cord, indeed. Dr. M said that the cord was very long. That little girl had been SO busy inside of me...she was doing somersaults and getting tangled in that cord for who knows how long.
Even though that delivery was very difficult emotionally, it was physically the easiest delivery that I have yet had. Thanks be to God for that. I'm so grateful that I could delivery traditionally and that I didn't have to do a c-se_ction. That would've caused a much more challenging recovery emotionally and physically. And also, through the difficult emotions, we had such a deep peace and sense of the Lord's presence with us. I really felt the power of the Holy Spirit in that room. It was quiet...and there was light. He was with us. He IS with us. We are not without our Lord, even through this dark valley.
We choose to praise Him who has chosen to give us life and who has chosen to keep us here on this Earth...and who has allowed our baby daughter to pass into all eternity before us. We can't wait to meet her there at the pearly gates one day...
Thanks for reading. And thanks for praying.