Unexpected Blessing

Tonight I attended my support group at the hospital.  This has been such a key part of my healing in the past year - going to support group and being encouraged because I'm walking this journey with other parents who are also going through similar things.  Our support group leader/facilitator Annette is so dear to me and has become a lifeline and friend over the year.  I'm grateful for her help.

After group tonight, I asked Annette if she would go with me to the labor and delivery unit so that I could double check where we delivered Solveig.  Sometime around her birthday, Erik and I plan to go to the room to remember her and our experience there.  It is so important to me to make peace with that space before I deliver another baby in that hospital sometime in the next few months.  Annette willingly went with me to the unit and explained who I was to the nurses on duty.  Right away, the nurse that we were speaking with said, "Oh, I remember you!  Wasn't your baby born on the 29th of February last year?"  "Yes," I said, "that was her."  The nurse Lori said, "I was the charge nurse that night and I remember you and your family.  Your story was so unique.  The nurses talked about you for a long time after that.  I saw your baby's obituary in the newspaper and I really appreciated that you wanted people to designate their memorial funds to Now I L_ay Me Do_wn To Sl_eep."  Annette told Lori, "Melody is making the boxes for the hospital now."  And Lori said, "Oh that's you?  Those boxes are amazing!  In fact, one woman who had a loss here and received one of those boxes was able to share about it with her friend who lives in W_is_cons_in and didn't get anything at the hospital she delivered at when she lost her baby.  She took photos of your box and gave them to her friend who is now is now making boxes like yours for her hospital!"  "Wow, that is just awesome!  I'm so glad to know that is happening," I exclaimed.  I was blown away by this response, and immensely touched that someone would remember and acknowledge us, our loss and our baby girl.  I was also so thrilled to know that because of the box project which started years ago in honor of a little girl named Olivia who was stillborn, that people are continuing to be blessed by the boxes which are now being made in honor of my Solveig.  Tears came to my eyes, and Lori said, "I didn't mean to make you cry."  I said, "no, it's okay!  It means so much to me that you remember."  Just down the row at the desk another nurse said, "I remember you too.  I was there."  I looked at her and totally recognized her!  "You're the one who took pictures, right?  I remember you too," I said.  "Thank you so much for taking pictures."

Shortly thereafter, we made our way down the hall and confirmed our room.  There it was, empty at the moment, and I recognized it right away.  It didn't feel weird to me to see it.  This was the third time that I had set foot in that labor and delivery unit since our delivery last February.  And each time I've been there it has felt a little bit better.  I'm hoping that on the day we plan to go in to honor Solveig's life that it will be open and ready for us to spend some time in it.  That place is sacred for us.  Angels were there with us.  The care we received in that hospital was amazing.  And I'm incredibly grateful for the people who are working there.  Going back there and having a live baby, Lord willing, will be such a redemptive experience.

God chose today to remind me of His presence.  He showed me again how much He loves me, and that our baby girl's life was not in vain.  He showed me that her legacy lives on, and that what was such a tragic situation for us has now gone on to produce good in our lives as well as the lives of others.  We are blessed to be part of Solveig's legacy.  And I can hardly wait to see what God continues to do because of that little girl's life.

Thank you Lord for letting us have Solveig for such a brief time.  May we choose to continue seeing the good that has come out of her life.  And may you continue to be glorified.

Soli deo gloria!