Soft and White

In a previous entry, I wrote about how we went shopping for a special outfit for Solveig to wear when we were spending time with her and also for her burial. When I thought about what color it needed to be, I just knew that it had to be white. White is such a symbol of purity and cleanliness...and to us, our little daughter was the complete embodiment of those symbols. This was especially true since we knew that her spirit had left her body prior to her physical entrance into this world, and that spirit was caught up in Heaven where all things are made new and clean and whole and pure. After we bought the outfit and she was resting peacefully in it while we held her and when we placed her in the ground, I realized that I had forgotten to purchase a duplicate outfit and for me that was a very important detail. A few days after the burial, I decided to go ahead and order that duplicate...and yesterday it arrived in the mail. Wrapped inside this tiny package was the preemie sized white cotton pointelle knit baby gown that we had bought for our little Solveig. Seeing it again almost took my breath away, but it was really sweet to once again hold that outfit in my hands and to feel its softness next to my skin. I know it's not the same thing as it was when my little girl was wrapped in something similar, but if it helps me remember her and think fondly of her then I think that's great. Tears welled up in my eyes as I showed Erik...and he also had tears.

There is a tiny rosebud on the outfit, and it is so befitting of our baby who was wearing it. She was like a rosebud...so soft and new and beautiful. On Solveig's original outfit, there was one difference...her rosebud was stained from drops of blood which came from her mouth or nose. At first this really bothered me, seeing those drops on her clothing. It seemed that it was now soiled and no longer pure. But this is just a natural part of what happens after a person has died and blood and water weep from their body. As hard as it was for us to see that blood coming from our tiny baby, it was a visceral reminder to us of Christ dying on the cross...the blood and water seeping out of Him when He was pierced. And for some reason that brought to me comfort, knowing once again that it is He who saved us from our sins. And because our daughter was quickly taken from this sinful world before she ever fully stepped foot into it, she now has complete freedom from ever being brought down by that ugly sin. Oh, to be free from the curse of the sinful world...we all can have that chance, if we just believe in Him who died to set us free.

May the rosebud inspire you to think of Him. We are forever changed by Him, and by our little girl.