Our Family

Our Family
Fall 2015 - These are my people

Monday, July 30, 2012

Speechless...

Someone named "anonymous" wrote something which I felt was very rude in the comments section on my blog tonight.  It talked about how it wasn't right for me to post pictures of my dead baby on the internet and how this must be harmful for my family to write a post like that.  Whoever you are, I didn't appreciate what you said and quite honestly it hurt.  This is my blog and it is my way to process my grief and the life of my daughter which was so brief.  Please respect that.  And know that I have gotten help, am getting help and will continue to get help as I feel led to do so.  And for the record...the pictures that we have of our daughter are very precious to us.  I have chosen to show a FEW of them online - the ones which I feel are okay to show.

Someday when you lose someone very close to you that you love, I think you will understand more fully just how deep grief goes and how it is not possible to just move on right away.  I'm doing my best to do just that and living my life fully.  You just don't always see that here through this venue, as this is a TINY glimpse into my everyday life.  But I WILL continue to blog here, and I will continue to share my thoughts and my feelings.  And if you don't want to read it or see it, well then maybe you shouldn't be reading my blog.

With all due respect...please consider very carefully next time what you choose to say in the comments section of my blog or someone else's blog who has gone through a loss...and filter what you choose to say to people like me when you are speaking face to face...


12 comments:

Amy said...

Oh I am so sorry someone said something like that to you!! Do not let it get to you though. You show off Solveig however you want. That's your baby!

Shauna said...

I'm so sorry you got such mean comments. People who have not loss a baby have no idea what this is like. Solveig is BEAUTIFUL! ((Hugs))

Andrea McDaniel said...

You have selflessly given a beautiful tribute to the precious life of your little girl for all the world to share. How cowardly of someone to leave a hateful, anonymous note about your personal choices. How blessed is your little one...if only the millions of precious little ones who are so thoughtlessly murdered each year had such a loving, beautiful mama as you. The Lord bless you and your family!

Mrs. Howard said...

Someone anonymously posted something on my blog the other day saying the pitied the people who had to be near my whiny kids. I think it speaks volumes that these people post their hatred anonymously. I am so very sorry!! You have every right to deal with your grief however you see fit and I pray that he/she is never even in a position to have to decide whether or not to post pictures of their baby after they've passed away. Hugs, friend!!

Anonymous said...
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Jillo said...

That makes me so sad, Melody. At one time it was considered in poor taste, or worse, to even take a picture of a departed loved one. If I had abided by that, I'd not have the treasured photo of my own daddy's (I can't use any word other than "daddy" when I think of hovering near him at his death) strong, weathered hands folded at peace in his casket. When I saw the pic you most recently posted, I thought, on one side it's hard to gaze on her in death in a way, and yet on the other side it seems respectful and honoring to do so, as I imagine you two and the kids in those final hours together with her. Every glance I get of Solveig's photo (usually when you post on FB) includes a quick prayer for you all. I wish the person who commented so harshly would have instead chosen to pray for you and bring the concern to God, where it would be handled perfectly. :)

Leah said...

Wow. Having lost my own baby, I know how precious those pictures are. Especially because you don't have any other pictures of her. Anyone who has experienced loss (no matter the loved one's age) knows that part of the healing process is sharing about your loved one. Often that's through sharing pictures. Anyone who doesn't want to take part in that isn't being forced. It just makes it more obvious that some don't understand what it's like to grieve. Sadly enough, they probably will at some point. Hopefully those around them will know how to love them well when the time comes.

Adrienne said...

I'm so sorry, Melanie. I banned anonymous commenters from my blog a few years ago...because I think people should have the balls to post their names to their opinions, whether they agree or disagree with the content. They had to at least have a first name.

This is your story and in sharing it, you are encouraging other parents on the journey, or who will unfortunately walk it one day. Keep going...

xoxox

ElisaBeth said...

I'm sorry someone said that. I have been following your blog and have been very touched by your posts and your beautiful pictures of Solveig. Praying for you and your family as you continue to heal!

Payton&Jake's Mommy said...

Wow Melody! I am so sorry that someone felt the need to viciously attack you through your outlet to express grief. There are nothing wrong with your pictures of Solveig. It is far to easy for others to hide behind their computer screens, knowing that they will never come face to face with you in person. These people are heartless. I can assure you these people probably wouldn't be so brave or bold if they were to meet you in person. It is all a facade.

In response to the earlier comment left anonymously, how on earth did they find your blog to again comment on how we other mommies who have lost babies are enablers? I think that is probably the same person who commented before, looking for a response. These pictures are of our precious children, whom we will never get to see again on earth. Other people may post pictures of their children on their blogs, we are doing the same. Even though our children passed away, they are still ours and we love them just the same. We are still proud of them.

Melody you have done nothing wrong, and I will continue to support you, regardless of what some coward says from the safety of their own house, behind their computer screen.

Don't let these people get to you.

Much love and very many hugs! Happy Tuesday!

Jessica

joyful said...

Oh honey,

There are so many bitter people in this world. I can guarantee that your blog has helped so many people going through the same type of loss. I actually referred one of my friends to your blog who just lost her own precious, baby girl. So, continue to blog all the more fervently knowing that you are making a huge difference. The enemy will try to steal your joy, but how awesome that we serve a way greater God! Your blog has actually encouraged me to think about volunteering with Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep as a photographer. I know it's a very emotional volunteer position, but I know how important these photographs are- to never forget the face of your precious child who someday you will have the great pleasure of meeting face to face. Love you Melody!

Robyn S.

Tesha said...

My heart is broken for you Melody by these hateful comments. You did a wonderful job speaking the truth for all of us! I have received a hateful comment as well and it stung. You are brave and give others the heart to be brave also by your testimony. Big HUGS my friend. Ps my family have made some really negative comments about my blog I just carry on but it dose hurt.