12 weeks ago...

Twelve weeks ago we said hello and goodbye to our baby girl, Solveig Sofia.  Some days it feels like it just happened yesterday and some days it feels like a lifetime ago.  Time has in certain moments been at a standstill, and yet we have had to keep going because that is what life does.  But one thing remains the same...I miss her.  I will always miss her.  I will always wish that she could be with us here on earth.  And as long as I'm alive, I will always long to be near her again and long for Heaven in a way that I may not have known before this.  There are still many moments where I just get weepy and I need to hold my pink teddy bear and Solveig's white, soft blanket in my arms.  I'm okay with that.  It's comforting to me.

Yesterday Erik and I celebrated eight years of marriage.  I had a rough day, and was relieved and blessed that we could go out for dinner, just the two of us.  Thank you sweet Jenny O. for your gift card to the grill with the macaroni. :)  We really needed that.  Sometimes it feels hard to be celebrating what are to be happy moments in our life when what should have been one of the happiest moments was turned into one of the saddest.  But I believe that Solveig would have wanted us to continue being happy and to look for joy, even in some of our darkest hours.  So, sitting with my sweet man last night was good.  He is such a calming force in my life and I'll be eternally grateful to the Lord for drawing us together.  Erik brings perspective into my world, healthy perspective.  He encourages me when I'm needing it the most.  He hugs me and shows up when I am happy and when I'm sad.  With him, my life is never boring and for sure quite interesting.  Thank you sweet Erik for being with me all these years.  May there be many more. And may we continue to find joy, even in the midst of pain.

There are many more things that I wish to write about and not enough time to do all that processing, but I'm hopeful that I'll get a few more entries done this week.  Thank you for staying tuned, and thank you for your love and prayers for us.  That means more than you'll ever know.

This photo was taken right after Solveig was born.  We were so glad to finally meet her...and yet, so saddened.  Joy in the sadness.  And we are together, through it all.  Thanks be to God.