How I long to be near Him right now. My heart does not want to be stationed here on Earth, but rather in Heaven with the King of Kings and my Solveig. For on the Earth we feel too deeply the pain of our sorrow. But when we are with Him in Heaven, we will no longer feel that pain. We will no longer have tears and anger and frustration...but rather we will be filled with complete joy and be in awe of the savior of the world.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Today I'm having a hard time feeling Him holding me close. There are many days that I do feel that but today is not one of them, at least not yet. Lord Jesus, please come close. Please help me to draw near to you so that you will draw near to me. I know you are there, but it is hard to feel you in this moment. This is precisely the moment when I need to have faith that you are who you say you are...that you do not and will not leave or forsake me. In that promise I must trust.
My Auntie Dar shared something quite amazing with me yesterday that I've been clinging to ever since. We were with the kids shopping at one of our favorite craft stores and all the sudden Auntie Dar said, "last night we were at the Maundy Thursday service at church. Solveig was there. She was there. I looked up and saw her next to the cross." Warm, salty tears came to my eyes as I barely choked out, "really?" Auntie said, "Yes, she was next to the cross, with Jesus." Oh my goodness...that is just an awesome vision that my Auntie had! How I would love to have one of those visions or dreams of my daughter. Perhaps one day I will. I've been asking the Lord to show Himself to me in that kind of way. But for now, I will take heart in knowing that He showed himself profoundly to my Auntie. That is the blessing that I must remember today.
Thank you Lord for the cross of glory which gives us great hope, even when we don't feel it. And thank you for your promise to draw near to us...
James 4:8 NIV says, "Come near to God and he will come near to you."