Dark engulfed me for a few days...but the Lord slowly lifted me from the darkness, and has been showing me His light and goodness in the land of the living. There is much life to be had here on this Earth. He has me here for MANY purposes, two of which are currently playing in the other room. Praise be to Him for those little lives which are STILL here and to be celebrated, every minute of every day. Praise be to Him for the amazing husband that He has blessed me with...the man who said to me the other night as he wrapped me tenderly in his loving arms, "it is going to be okay. WE are going to be okay." I'm thankful for that man. And I'm thankful that the Lord is doing a mighty work in his heart and drawing him closer to His spirit, amidst the darkness which could so easily overtake us. We are praying for Him to be near us. We are praying for Him to show us His truth in this mess...and He is. Believe me. He is STILL good and His love endures amidst the flames. Erik and I are drawing closer through our trials.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
THANK YOU does not even begin to express how grateful I am to all of you who are praying over our lives. Your love and prayer is palpable. Yesterday when I didn't know how I could possibly go on after I wrote that blog post, people began to let me know that they were and are praying. My spirit began to loose its grip on the darkness, or rather shall I say, the darkness began to loose its grip upon me. The load was lifted. You shared in this burden. We shared the burden and gave it to the Lord. For that I will always be so thankful. What a gift that when we cast our cares on Him He does care for us and does help us through and does lighten the burden from our spirits.
Spending time with some very sweet friends in the last few days has meant a lot to me. Knowing that people still love me and care deeply for me through this trial does help keep me going. Thank you sweet friends. You are dear to my heart, and the Lord will bless you for caring over me.
And of course, THANK YOU LORD for revealing yourself to me not only through the gift of friends and acquaintances the world over who are praying for us, but thank you for revealing yourself to me through your Holy Word. I yesterday opened up my Bible in the little room of the house where I can hide away from the small people in my life...and I literally came to a quite appropriate scripture in Psalm 27.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"
Woah. There's food for thought, my friends. Such fear had taken over me...such anxiety...but I need not fear. He is my light. He is my salvation. He is my stronghold. What a blessing.
Then today, after trying to rest and not being able to fall asleep because so much is on my mind, I opened again to Psalms and was drawn to Psalm 40.
"I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie! You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts towards us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told."
Whew. That's incredible. He drew me up out of mire and destruction and my feet are secure on the rock. It makes me want to go and scale a mountain and sing praises to Him. I want to tell the World about Him. Your wonders are there, Lord. You are still there. Thank you for your presence and for your truth which keeps me alive. Thank you for your mercies that are new every morning. Thank you for drawing me into your Word.