This morning, my sweet boy and I had a beautiful conversation about Heaven. It went something like this...
"Buzz, I will always love you. Please remember that I will always love you."
Buzz said, "even when you die? Will you still love me then?"
Mama replied, "yes Buzz, I believe that I will. Because the Bible says that we will recognize our loved ones in Heaven. So I will know you and I will still love you!"
He said, "but there won't be any toys in Heaven."
I said, "well I don't know for sure about that part. Maybe there will be some toys. But more importantly, we're going to be so in awe of Jesus that nothing else is going to matter. Everything in Heaven will be amazing."
Buzz then inquired, "will there be food in Heaven?"
I said, "yes, Honey, there will be lots of food! In the Bible it talks about having a feast in Heaven!"
He then said, "but the streets are made of gold and that will hurt!"
I replied after thinking for a moment, "you mean, if you fall down on the gold streets it might hurt?"
"Yes," he said, "it would hurt. I fall down a lot and get hurt a lot."
"Well, I don't think it will hurt because nothing is supposed to hurt anymore in Heaven. There will be no more tears, no more pain and no more suffering," I said.
Buzz looked at my face and saw some tears and began wiping them away. He said, "you have a tear on your cheek."
"Yes Honey, I do have a tear. I'm crying because I'm missing your sister Solveig right now. But she is in Heaven and she is having a wonderful time there." Then I asked, "do you miss her?"
In his sweet big brother voice he said, "yes, I miss her...so much."
Be still my sad heart...this brother has such an affection for the baby sister whose shell he didn't know for more than an hour. What a gift that he still cares for her. And I hope he always remembers her. I think he will, simply by virtue of the fact that we talk about her and look at her photos often.
I told him, "I'm so sorry that you didn't get to grow up with her on earth. But when we get to Heaven, we will see her again and that will be amazing."
I held that little man for the longest time and the tears continue to stream down my face as I type this. My gratefulness for the two who remain in my arms here on earth is full today. I love them with a depth I never knew to be humanly possible. And I cherish our moments that we have.
Thank you Lord for the gift of life. May we spend it wisely.
|He was so proud to hold her and to be a big brother...he didn't even seem to mind that she was no longer with us in spirit and that her skin was turning purple...|