The Fabric Store Encounter

Last night I set out to the local fabric store in search of some fabric for the little gowns I intend to sew in honor of Solveig.  While I was on my fabric search, I first worked with an older sales person who looked to be a grandmother.  She was so sweet.  She asked me if I needed help finding something and I told her that I was indeed looking for some really soft, delicate fabric that would be suitable for infant burial gowns.  She seemed just a tiny bit taken aback, but not too shocked.  And she was very willing to help me in the process of searching.  She confirmed what I had already discovered.  My choices of pale pink flannel and cream colored knit were some of the softest offerings the store had.  She then directed me to the notions area so that I could gather some sweet details to add to the finished gowns.  I really want them to look pretty for these baby girls and their families.  I figure I'll start with the flannel and see how it goes before I attempt sewing the knit.

After I stared at ruffles, ribbons, lace and other things of that nature for probably thirty minutes or more, I finally decided upon a couple of options that seemed to be good for this purpose.  They have to be simple.  They have to be sweet.  They have to be delicate and not too big.  They have to be so pretty.  I just want these babies to be taken care of well.  I want their parents to be able to hold them a little bit longer…to enjoy spending moments with their babies, for the moments shortly after their little ones are born are all they will ever have.

I headed for the cut counter.  The young woman who was there helping me said with her sweet and cheery disposition, "What project are you making?"

I replied, "well, it's a really special project.  It's kind of a hard one.  I am sewing burial gowns for babies."

Silence.

Shock and dumfoundedness…

She didn't know what to say.

I don't blame her.

She has never faced something similar, I tell myself.

She's probably 19 and this feels so foreign to her.

She sweetly replied in her shocked state, "oh, wow.  That's not something I hear of very often!  No offense!"

"It's okay," I tell her.  "No problem.  It really is an honor to be making these.  It's hard but it's good."

I then went on to explain the short version of our loss and how I'm working with the hospital box project.  And that this year I decided I needed to sew something in honor of our daughter.  She just soaked it all in and said, "I hope you can have fun sewing these."

Fun isn't necessarily the word I would use to describe it.  But for sure it's an honor.  And the thought of it gets me excited, because I just want someone else to be able to have something for their precious child to wear.  It's such a hard thing to face, losing one's child.  The least I can do is help give them an outfit that can be used to make their child feel and look more "normal."  That's one thing that I think really helped us…being able to dress our daughter.

So, here I sit with my fabric, thread and notions in hand.  I hope to start my project sometime in the next week…before her birthday.  We also have a family box project day nearing and I need to prepare for that as well.

Thank you friends for your thoughts and prayers and love during these days, weeks, months and years. Thank you to the people who have been and continue to take the journey with us.  We are so blessed with your love.  And know that we are willing to pray over you and go with you on your journeys too.

Everyone has a journey.  Everyone has a story to tell.  We know that.  We are not the only ones.  If you haven't faced something too challenging yet, you will at some point or another.  It's just how life rolls.  But you can know that no matter what, God is available to you to help you get through it.  You just have to ask for His help.  He will guide you…if you just ask.  He loves you.  He will always love you. I tell my kids all the time, "Don't ever forget that God loves you more than any other person in this world ever could possibly love you."  I believe that, 100%.

May He be near you this week.