Born In Me

Just before Christmas, I downloaded a really great album onto my iT_unes and enjoyed listening to it. Little did I know just how much a few of the songs would come to mean to me less than two months later when Solveig was born still into our world. One of the songs that I have been playing over and over and feel that I can relate to on some level is "Be Born in Me," sung by Fran_cesca Batt_istelli. It is the song of Mary as she prepares to birth Jesus, but some of it feels like my song too. She is wondering why God chose her to carry the son of God and yet she fully embraces it. There have been moments when I wondered why God would allow me to carry a baby who wouldn't see the light of day...but then I realize that I was immensely blessed to hold her inside of me...and to hold her adorable, limp body for awhile outside of me. Carrying Solveig was a calling on my life that I did not realize I would have, but am so grateful to have had. It has forever changed who I am and who I hope to be. And like Mary who will one day be held by Jesus when they reunite in Heaven, I know that just as I held Solveig here at the beginning and end of her life, she will hold me in Heaven one day. Isn't that beautiful to consider? I sure think so. And that hope in Heaven is what is getting me through every day here on this Earth filled with good and evil. I know that this life here is just a mere blip on the radar of what God has planned for all eternity. And I praise Him for that. I know that there is something MUCH better ahead in Heaven...no more pain, no more tears. I cling to that. And I hope for you that you can find hope in Him too. Hope in the resurrection of Jesus.

Enjoy this text. May He be born in you and in me. And if you haven't heard the song, I encourage you to find it and soak it in...here's a link to the song set to a music video...

Be Born In Me

Everything inside me cries for order
Everything inside me wants to hide
Is this shadow an angel or a warrior?
If God is pleased with me, why I am I so terrified?
Someone tell me I am only dreaming
Somehow help me see with Heaven’s eyes
And before my head agrees, my heart is on its knees
Holy is He. Blessed am I.

Be born in me, be born in me
Trembling heart, somehow I believe that You chose me
I’ll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

All this time we’ve waited for the promise
All this time You’ve waited for my arms
Did You wrap yourself inside the unexpected
So we might know that Love would go that far?

Be born in me, be born in me
Trembling heart, somehow I believe that You chose me
I’ll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

I am not brave
I’ll never be
The only thing my heart can offer is a vacancy
I’m just a girl
Nothing more
But I am willing, I am Yours

Be born in me, be born in me
I’ll hold you in the beginning, You will hold me in the end
Every moment in the middle, make my heart your Bethlehem
Be born in me

Desert

Moment to moment...that is how some days are. Valley and desert and mountaintop...these are all the places I've been lately emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. One song which for us has been such a clear picture of where we are at and that we had at Solveig's funeral is called appropriately, "Des_ert So_ng." It is from Hi_lls_ong Ch_urch in Aus_tra_lia and we love it.

A few years ago when I first heard the song, I watched the video for it over and over online and then found this interview with one of the lead singers who originally recorded it. She went through somewhat of a similar experience to us losing a baby and she talks about her experience here. I highly encourage you to watch this as I can so relate to her...she talks about how she knew she needed to continue praising God through it all as that is what she was created to do. That is exactly how I have felt. May you be encouraged by this lovely testimony. And here is the link to the song in its entirety. I tried to find a video version of the band singing it but couldn't find a good one.